You Cannot Be SiriusXM?!
Hello and welcome to The New Podcast News Newsletter (TNPNN), from PodFUC - The Podcast Federation of Unionised Content [sponsored by FIFA Investments - because if you have money, you too can do whatever you want].
Here are your headlines:
1.
It’s been announced this week that the new series of the hit reality TV show, Survivor, will be set at this year’s Podcast Movement in New York, one of the largest podcast conferences in the world. “Anyone who’s been to a conference like this knows the sheer brutality that the contestants, er… I mean attendees have to go through to make it to the very end”, an anonymous survivor of last year’s show told TNPNN. The show’s winner will be the first one to make to the end of day 2 without using the phrase, “it’s so good to finally meet you in real life”, with the winner receiving a meet-and-greet with former Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice.
2.
John McEnroe is to launch his new show, ‘You Cannot Be SiriusXM?!’ In which the former tennis superstar, and current madman, will interview media executives during a game of tennis. “I’m not playing around with this one”, McEnroe tells TNPNN. “I’m balls deep in the concept, in fact, my balls - they couldn’t be any deeper, metaphorically speaking. The questions come when they come, but the winning must take priority.” McEnroe’s first guest will be 100-year-old David Attenborough. The pair discuss his days as controller of BBC 2. The show will be part of the iHeartMedia network and released in January next year.
3.
Producer of the new YouTube viral podcast, ‘It Takes Two To Fanta’ (about the Nazis origins of the orange fizzy drink), Jerry Wackybactot (OBE, MBE, LOL), has been accused of attempted manslaughter this week. The allegation comes after he allegedly told his presenter (who wishes to remain anonymous) to “run through a brick wall [for me]”. The inspirational speech was apparently launched to encourage the presenter to read a post-roll ad for Squarespace. Although TNPNN can’t reveal the true identity of the presenter, we now understand his performance isn’t as high as it previously was.
4.
And finally, think you know podcasting? OK, here’s a pop-quiz, hot-shot:
Q: Who invented the word ‘podcast’?**
Was it:
A) Charles Bronson
B) Richard Branson
C) Branson Pickle
D) Ben Hammersley
E) Pliny the Elder
F) I don’t care. Life is about so much more than these epigrammatic questions. Hark! I want us run naked through a field of wheat on a warm summer’s eve and feel the breeze of a thousand butterflies caress my buttocks, not worrying about the history of an industry that barely .
All answers to PO BOX 180, Falkland Islands
And that was The New Podcast News Newsletter from PodFUC.
This is obviously a satirical parody. Please share if you think someone would be amused - https://podfuc.ghost.io/ for sign up and back-catalogue access.
*Photo may not reflect true life
**D
