It’s called a paywall, officer

PodFUC Editorial Staff

— 2 min read
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It’s called a paywall, officer
”360 Media”

Hello and welcome to The New Podcast News Newsletter (TNPNN), from PodFUC - The Podcast Federation of Unionised Content [sponsored by dEminem - the perfect jeans for hiphop and theatre going].

Here are your headlines:

1.

A man who regularly makes chaotic speeches about climate conspiracies and lizard overlords at Speakers' Corner in Hyde Park - the oldest free speech platform in the world - has rebranded himself as a visual-audio podcast. Peter ‘the nutter’ Bridges, originally from Coventry, first came across the idea when he watched Off Menu on YouTube. “I figured if two snotty teenagers could make money talking about food then I could do the same talking about stuff that actually matters”, Bridges told TNPNN. Asked how he plans to make money, Bridges replied, “I have a free version, where I talk in front of a FanDuel banner, and for those who pay a monthly subscription, I’ll cover myself in a black cape. Paying subscribers - I’ll call them my Brigadiers - can poke their head through a hole in the cape and enjoy what’s underneath.” It’s rumoured Netflix are interested, as are the Metropolitan Police.

2.

Persephonica founder, Dino Sofos, is to partner with audio tech brand, Sonos, to create a new and slightly confusing branded podcast series investigating comfort levels of various arm chairs. ‘Sofos’ Sofa Satisfaction Scale with Sonos’ will be released in most niche cinemas, nationwide, November, 2026.

3.

Credit where credit’s due.

4.

And finally… leading podcast hosting and monetisation platform Audioboom are to re-register their trading name. In a press statement, the company puts the reason behind the name change as an attempt to appeal to Millennials and Gen-Zs. “The new name is a little out there”, an insider tells TNPNN, “but I think it really stands out amongst everything in pod-land.” According to reports, the company’s new name will be:

‘So fellas (Yeah)

Are y'all with me (Yeah)

I said fellas (Yeah)

Are y'all with me (Yeah)

Why don't you tell the girls what y'all wanna do

You [podcast on YouTube] wanna ooh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ooooh

That's right yo and I'm in the [production] flow

So pump up the volume [ensuring correct LUFS] along with the tempo

I want everybody in the [digital] house to know

I came here tonight [but available globally] to hear the crowd go [and buy merch]

AudioBoom! shake-shake-shake the room

AudioBoom! shake-shake-shake the room

AudioBoom! shake-shake-shake the room

Tic-tic-tic-tic AUDIOBOOM!©️PLC’

However for trading and sanity purposes, the company will publicly remain Audioboom for the foreseeable future.

And that was The New Podcast News Newsletter from PodFUC. Remember, if you float like a butterfly, stings when you pee, consult a doctor and probably best not to return to Burning Man next year.

This is obviously a satirical parody. Please share if you think someone would be amused - https://podfuc.ghost.io/ for sign up and back-catalogue access.

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