It’s magic (kind of)

Hello and welcome to The New Podcast News Newsletter (TNPNN), from PodFUC - The Podcast Federation of Unionised Content [sponsored by Barney’s Goose Milk - because when it comes to milk from a goose, you better believe Barney’s is the best! Head to honkifyouwanttogopasture.co.nz for more information].

Here are your essential podcast news headlines:

1.

The shortest episode in podcast history was released this week. Coming in at a modest 7-seconds in length, the comedy podcast, ‘What Did You Do Yesterday?’ - featuring comic David O’Doherty and former clothes model, Max Rushden - broke the world record when they asked the guest, Andrew Mountbatten-Sweaty-Windsor, the pertinent question. “Nothing”, came a curt reply, followed by awkward outro music and 10 minutes of post-roll programmatic advertising (not counted in record). 

2.

Guy Raz will be legally changing his name to Guy Raz-a-Ma-Tazz in an effort to get his business podcast, ‘How I Built This’, further embedded into the mainstream. “He’s known for his acumen and laser-like questioning when it comes to extracting wonderfully entertaining stories from hardened business people”, an insider tells us. “But what he longs for is the glitz and glamour of the really young, hip and successful podcasters; the likes of the Stephen Bartlett, Dax Shepard, and Julia Gillard.”

3.

Speaking of hip Australians, James Cridland, author and founder of the world’s second favourite podcast newsletter*, only sleeps 2 hours a night, TNPNN can exclusively reveal. “It’s bonkers, really”, an insider tells us. “But it explains how he’s across so much podcast news and insights. There’s also rumour he’s taken inspiration from the former UK Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, whom famously only slept about 4-hours a night, but that simply isn’t true. The main reason is actually because he’s currently listening to the back-catalogue of The Worst Idea of All Time podcast. He gathers podcast news between episodes.” TNPNN reached out directly to Mr Cridland himself, asking what about The Worst Idea of All Time he likes so much. “The Cridland is not for learning….” came his apt reply.

4.

And of British Prime Ministers, Andy Burnham, the UK’s newest and most Mancunian PM to date, is to celebrate his success by launching his very own podcast called ‘Feel The Burn’. A Labour Party anonymous SpAd tells TNPNN that “we love the double meaning of the phrase: the word ‘burn’ is an old English word for stream and the phrase is also an excellent euphemism for exercise. This frames Burny as a cross between an English elder and a sexy Peloton instructor. The perfect combo for politics, really. Every episode will be pure adventure and excitement!” The first episode, out in late August**, will focus on the over-bureaucratisation of the utility sectors in the south-west.  

That was The New Podcast News Newsletter from PodFUC, thank you for reading. And always remember the true definition of a podcast: if the host refers to themself in the third-person more than twice, it’s a podcast.

This is obviously a satirical parody. If you think someone would be amused, and are worthy, please direct them here.

*according to the International Centre for Generic Data and Spices. 

**assuming Andy Burnham is the Prime Minister of the UK at this date.