Intelligence? Who needs it.
Hello and welcome to The New Podcast News Newsletter (TNPNN), from PodFUC - The Podcast Federation of Unionised Content [sponsored by Facebook.com - because we all need to feel sad sometimes].
Here are your podcast headlines:
1.
The EU AI intelligence act comes into force this week - the world's first comprehensive legal framework for artificial intelligence - and there’s a worry it may have a direct negative impact on European podcast creators which use AI on a regular basis. However, Jamie Laing, founder of the hugely successful JamPot Productions, and fan of the European serf system, disagrees. “We’re absolutely fine, matey-boy, don’t you worry about dear old hob-knobbers here. Artificial Intelligence? Pah! The only thing we use it for is research, marketing, feedback, comment generation, a slice of sound design, and OK, maybe I’ve cloned my voice a little but it’s not exactly “intelligent”, is it?” Rumours that Laing hasn’t presented a show himself for over 2 years are yet to be confirmed.
2.
Podcast Host, Brian Dumpé, a dental nurse from Paris, is now IAB v2.3 certified. “It’s been hell for my wife, Juliette, and an onerous task for me but after 18 months, I can finally call myself fully qualified.” Brian will be using a proprietary measurement system called ‘Dumpés’, which measure over-earnest LinkedIn mentions of the show in question.
3.
The people behind the hit comedy podcast, ‘Shagged, Married, Annoyed’ are about to launch a brand new show in September. ‘Litigated, Divorced, Unsatisfied’ pits two people who have been separated for a year together in the same room for 24-hours, with nothing more than two litres of Diet Lilt, fourteen packs of Party Rings, and a microphone. The podcast will be hosted on Brian Dumpé.
4.
And finally, Spotify’s new controversial Ad skipping tool - codename, ‘Flippin’ Ek’, inspired by founder Daniel Ek’s cousin, Geoffrey Boycott - has sent shock waves through the podcast industry. There are serious claims that the tool could rip out essential advertising revenue, decimating creator incomes. TNPNN doesn’t know much about the tool at present but according to an insider, there isn’t much clarity within Spotify’s walls either. “It was originally a tool for users to send emojis to one another on the app, but that wasn’t evil enough. So after 4 months brainstorming on a private Icelandic island, we came up with something brilliant to potentially cause an existential crisis in podcasting. That’s right, baby, we’re disrupting the disruptors!” When asked if that meant that they were disrupting themselves and also potentially putting their own job at risk, TNPNN failed to garner a response.
And that was The New Podcast News Newsletter from PodFUC. And remember, if someone calls themselves an expert, they’ve almost certainly been on DOAC.
This is obviously a satirical parody. Please share if you think someone would be amused.
